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My thoughts have wings; inquiring lyrical things they flit with the butterfly in flight they tarry, delicate as a flute in the tranquil twilight Now beating strongly to the strange song of my heart catching the wind with curved and tapered tips like trim sails on swift ships seeking the wonders of another's shore soaring higher to explore peaks that only the sun has known | and at last to drift alone in this rare silent solace A sojourner in capacious bliss I pause to stare through the crisp invigorating air at the squinting crowds below pointing fingers that poke and sting pointing fingers rather than taking wing | |||
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Am I the ladder that lifts or the chain that drags? Is love a gift or a word that gags? Does my light make warm the heart and eyes Am I a fool in the swarm of beggars and flies? Where is the vision that bids me to leap? Was it my decision that others should sleep? Is this my mountain? Shall I pause at your fountain | and when do I begin to climb? And who is the wiser the thief or the miser for both have been cheated by time. | |||
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I say we are half and half that our godliness leans on a human staff but men say we are all animal because our appetites are never full and at that I have to laugh because I see a preformed trinity one part god, the two parts whole and both make three somewhere between lies humanity supported by men's fleshy cane doomed to enjoy, yet trained to refrain they weaken our holy spirit | which prophets idolize while the people fear it worshipping the cult of the fatted calf whose sole high priest was that lucky giraffe who chose to stand and see that all is possible humanly | |||
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The puzzle to be isn't hard to see but it's scrambled up inside of me People's past and shadows cast The problem is to solve it fast For now, I plod at my own pace hoping the pieces will fit into place So many facets and mirrors of me | A brain in a body, a mind in a man I feel like a stew in a cosmic can I could go back to sleep well fed, educated, content ill wed, frustrated, money spent But they're still perplexed while too soon dying So I prefer to keep on trying | |||
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I gave my father potency and for a time pride and then responsibility, patience, strength and disillusionment. I gave my mother fertility and maternal tenderness and protectiveness I full filled her with milk and the phantom of possession and the intuition of emptiness No doubt, | they held in common for a time the mingled joy of their respective virtues joined sublime in the spirit and flesh. They spent their best years on the misbegotten souvenirs of a child birthed wide and fresh No, I shall not soon forget, amidst the sacrifices we brought to each other that they gave me freely the priceless debt of Life | |||
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Have you ever sat with your whole head, spine and back contoured flat to the many faces on a sheer wall of rock? And then, having shouldered it evenly began steadily pushing to see who can "not move first?" But, who knows with a little faith...? Anyway, now you're exerting all your strength | and at length you say "There! I've been staring at this one spot long enough so that it's got be hypnotized by now" so you stand and sure enough the whole bluff of rock above that you have been shoving against has turned to stone | |||
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So, you laugh and dust your hands off turning to go knowing for certain that it will be still pushing right where you left off | ||
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Dr., I am mad I have visions of stupidity in the sea of ignorance Dr., I am diseased my mind sees light but my heart beats black God, are you there? I breathe despair and vomit cynicism My brothers, do you care? I see you wasting with the disease of loneliness My brothers love isn't permanent it is the plastic excuse for | understanding Dr., I am a fool for I have apathy toward nothing except fools Dr., Can I be saved? I am living on borrowed hope and my own platitudes bore me I am drowning in my own rose scented sewage cast adrift on an instant of genius with a death grip on shit floating on clouds of conceit and all the while approaching nothing | |||
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Today I built a stairway to follow the swallow and gull away from the crying cryptic pull of everyday grey earth sighs I learned to discern my own features from those of my teachers and I yearned to find among the rows of similar creatures your own face standing out of place poised | to step on a high and winding stair with eyes of water and sandy hair I sought you there in reverie when wind and rain reminded me I had only ascended half my stair... Staring from the long abandoned unicorn spiral flight of the lighthouse stairwell, at the processions of waves preceded by their foam alone Those fans of mermaid fancy | |||
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approaching to encroach on the resilient meek beach which they seek to reform just in reach of the brewing storm | ||
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The beacon beckons intermittently, alternately guiding and chiding from across the dark sea of my vanity The heavy armor plates of years the rusting whitewashed fears held firmly by anchored traits wait, straining uneasy assailed by the ripples of small triumphs, for the maiden voyage too long delayed | I bellow mournfully and plaintively for a hand on the helm; to be obeyed Scornful of those foolhardy and free overwhelmed by the ease of their courage I wait in this harbor of futility for my burial at sea | |||
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Serene sleep soothing the terror of reality replenishing from the inky depths of self pity the strength to live tomorrow in the bleakness of the city | ||